The debate begins.

Friday, January 18, 2002
WARNING - LONG BUT WORTH IT.
this is a series of emails that my siblings and I sent to each other two summers ago. it still makes me laugh.

-----Original Message-----

From: Kelly
Sent: Monday, July 31, 2000 11:35 AM
Subject: Why I Am the Most Normal Hong Kid

Dear all, Hani & I were having a debate the other day as to who was the most normal kid out of all of us.
This is my thesis as to why I clearly am.

WHY I AM THE MOST NORMAL HONG KID
1) I would never decide to get married "just because it's the Summer Solstice" and give my family 3 weeks notice to fly to California or ever dye my hair fuschia or pay an Yves St Laurent budget for clothes that look like Salvation Army from a really bad 70's period (like Souris)
2) I would never own dogs for the purpose of entering them in dog shows or take up a hobby like SHOOTING GUNS for fun and deciding to have a custom-made gun jacket tailored for me (like Kiki)
3) I would never buy a bass box big enough to fit in the very large trunk of my Nissan Altima so that I could tip my seat 3/4 of the way back (lounge style) so that I could look "cool" as I drive (despite the fact that it's incredibly unsafe) whilst an ear-shattering THUMP THUMP THUMP KA-BOOM from the bass box emanated from behind me - nor would I EVER live in a house with four complete strangers who I would be certain to at best tolerate and at worst loathe & despise (like Lobo)
4) I would never ride 500 miles for ANY cause, even if I was in a car, no matter how worthy, and especially not through Alaska nor I would I ever work for a start-up as it is not a stable way to make a living (like Hani).

WHAT MAKES ME THE MOST NORMAL HONG KID
1 ) I am by far the smartest one out of all of you and would have the best shot of actually winning a Million Dollars on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" because I am the most well-rounded person
2) I listen to classical music and therefore am upholding the righteous tradition and culture of western civilization
3) I am neat and tidy and do NOT toss used kleenex in the back seat of my sister's car or litter my room profusely with them
4) I KNOW I have quirks which makes me NORMAL because I ACKNOWLEDGE them.
SO THERE!

-----Original Message-----
From: Kiki
Sent: Monday, July 31, 2000 1:36 PM
Subject: RE: Why I Am the Most Normal Hong Kid

Kel:
No, no, it doesn't work to present your case to biased observers. I am therefore adding Mike and Lori to this list as impartial judges. Yeah...right.

I myself would never make such claim to normalcy among the Hongs because quite frankly, the sample size is a wee bit small and since we are all a wee bit deranged, it does not mean too much to say that you are less loony than the acknowledged crowd of loonies. I therefore take myself out of the running for "most normal Hong," but would like to respectfully continue to rebut any and all comers to this title.

Having said so, allow me now to gently remind you of some points as to why YOU COULDN'T be the most normal Hong kid:

1. Souris and Lobo clearly have a better shot at winning "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" than you because you know virtually nothing about pop culture or sports.
2. More people ride bicycles (like Hani) than are compelled to walk ninety New York city blocks for any reason under the sun.
3. With respect to quirks that make you..."normal" as you put it, these are just some that come to mind that no "normal" person of my acquaintance does: 1) shush everyone in elevators and not talk; 2) carry a heavy-ass Kitchen Aid from Virginia to New York even though Hani offered to take it for you; 3) talk to my umbrella; and 4) NAME my umbrella.
4. And finally (this is the clincher), why you couldn't be the most normal Hong kid: Remember when we were kids and we were helping Mom bring stuff in from her car and you said, "Why can't we have a normal mom?" Do you remember what Souris said? Yes, that's right; she said, "If we did, we wouldn't have you."
Frankly I don't think you are normal at all.
I think you are British.
love,
ki