4 years later, others want to join in!

From: don-eduardo
Date: Thu, 19 Aug 2004 19:11:16 -0700
Subject: Can I get heard on the subject

HH
Sitting at Sharon's Mac,
I found a bookmark for Funny Hongs
a site I did not know existed
(as NO ONE TOLD ME)!!!

I was wondering if the last word on the subject had been said
or can someone who would like to chime in on the subject
could have their say?
d-e

---------

From: sharon
Date: Thu, 19 Aug 2004 20:15:33 -0700
Subject: Re: Can I get heard on the subject

It got there because I put it there so I could stay on top of things...of course i havent had a chance to go there yet because ....why go on about that ..love you all...honey..post that for me. sharon

Family Photos from Christmas 2003, New York City

Family Photo at Christmas 2003


quickly turns into:

1975 Family Photo

1975, Mom & the kids



In preparation of our escape from the fall of South Vietnam, just weeks after my younger brother was born, my parents had us take this family photo for a family passport to move to France. The director of the Central Intelligence Organization wouldn't allow us to go, and so we ended up as nutty Americans instead, arriving in 1975.

Feedback is that those of you who know us... get the best laugh.
Those of you who don't... want to meet more Hongs!

The debate begins.

Friday, January 18, 2002
WARNING - LONG BUT WORTH IT.
this is a series of emails that my siblings and I sent to each other two summers ago. it still makes me laugh.

-----Original Message-----

From: Kelly
Sent: Monday, July 31, 2000 11:35 AM
Subject: Why I Am the Most Normal Hong Kid

Dear all, Hani & I were having a debate the other day as to who was the most normal kid out of all of us.
This is my thesis as to why I clearly am.

WHY I AM THE MOST NORMAL HONG KID
1) I would never decide to get married "just because it's the Summer Solstice" and give my family 3 weeks notice to fly to California or ever dye my hair fuschia or pay an Yves St Laurent budget for clothes that look like Salvation Army from a really bad 70's period (like Souris)
2) I would never own dogs for the purpose of entering them in dog shows or take up a hobby like SHOOTING GUNS for fun and deciding to have a custom-made gun jacket tailored for me (like Kiki)
3) I would never buy a bass box big enough to fit in the very large trunk of my Nissan Altima so that I could tip my seat 3/4 of the way back (lounge style) so that I could look "cool" as I drive (despite the fact that it's incredibly unsafe) whilst an ear-shattering THUMP THUMP THUMP KA-BOOM from the bass box emanated from behind me - nor would I EVER live in a house with four complete strangers who I would be certain to at best tolerate and at worst loathe & despise (like Lobo)
4) I would never ride 500 miles for ANY cause, even if I was in a car, no matter how worthy, and especially not through Alaska nor I would I ever work for a start-up as it is not a stable way to make a living (like Hani).

WHAT MAKES ME THE MOST NORMAL HONG KID
1 ) I am by far the smartest one out of all of you and would have the best shot of actually winning a Million Dollars on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" because I am the most well-rounded person
2) I listen to classical music and therefore am upholding the righteous tradition and culture of western civilization
3) I am neat and tidy and do NOT toss used kleenex in the back seat of my sister's car or litter my room profusely with them
4) I KNOW I have quirks which makes me NORMAL because I ACKNOWLEDGE them.
SO THERE!

-----Original Message-----
From: Kiki
Sent: Monday, July 31, 2000 1:36 PM
Subject: RE: Why I Am the Most Normal Hong Kid

Kel:
No, no, it doesn't work to present your case to biased observers. I am therefore adding Mike and Lori to this list as impartial judges. Yeah...right.

I myself would never make such claim to normalcy among the Hongs because quite frankly, the sample size is a wee bit small and since we are all a wee bit deranged, it does not mean too much to say that you are less loony than the acknowledged crowd of loonies. I therefore take myself out of the running for "most normal Hong," but would like to respectfully continue to rebut any and all comers to this title.

Having said so, allow me now to gently remind you of some points as to why YOU COULDN'T be the most normal Hong kid:

1. Souris and Lobo clearly have a better shot at winning "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" than you because you know virtually nothing about pop culture or sports.
2. More people ride bicycles (like Hani) than are compelled to walk ninety New York city blocks for any reason under the sun.
3. With respect to quirks that make you..."normal" as you put it, these are just some that come to mind that no "normal" person of my acquaintance does: 1) shush everyone in elevators and not talk; 2) carry a heavy-ass Kitchen Aid from Virginia to New York even though Hani offered to take it for you; 3) talk to my umbrella; and 4) NAME my umbrella.
4. And finally (this is the clincher), why you couldn't be the most normal Hong kid: Remember when we were kids and we were helping Mom bring stuff in from her car and you said, "Why can't we have a normal mom?" Do you remember what Souris said? Yes, that's right; she said, "If we did, we wouldn't have you."
Frankly I don't think you are normal at all.
I think you are British.
love,
ki

Kaly's Rebuttal

-----Original Message-----
From: Kelly
Sent: Monday, July 31, 2000 2:02 PM
Subject: RE: Why I Am the Most Normal Hong Kid

>1. Souris and Lobo clearly have a better shot at winning "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" than you because you know virtually nothing about pop culture or sports.
Boy are you wrong there. I read "Entertainment Weekly" and "People" and know everything about pop culture. As for sports, I can converse about football, baseball, soccer AND basketball well.
>2. More people ride bicycles (like Hani) than are compelled to walk ninety New York city blocks for any reason under the sun.
Not 500 MILES worth of bicycle riding in 1 week. And by walking in NY I am a) getting the daily recommended allowance of exercise and 2) not polluting the air with your Toyota Corolla that you drive aimlessly around for hours.
>3. With respect to quirks that make you..."normal" as you put it, these are just some that come to mind that no "normal" person of my acquaintance does: 1) shush everyone in elevators and not talk; 2) carry a heavy-ass Kitchen Aid from Virginia to New York even though Hani offered to take it for you; 3) talk to my umbrella; and 4) NAME my umbrella.
1) First rule of elevator etiquette: you're not supposed to talk on elevators b/c it's a small, enclosed space and you are forcing complete strangers to be a part of your conversation which is not polite (like using a cell phone on a public bus or in a restaurant)
2) The kitchen aid weighed 10 pounds. Lighter than my luggage. It went on the bus then directly onto a cab. There was no major lifting involved.
3) My umbrella comes from a distinguished firm of James SMith & Sons at 53 New Oxford Street in London (est. 1764) and has a finer pedigree than anyone I know and is eminently more sensible than 95% of the people I know. She is named in honor of Charlotte Bronte, you ignoramous as a way of commemorating a very great woman.
>4. And finally (this is the clincher), why you couldn't be the most normal Hong kid: Remember when we were kids and we were helping Mom bring stuff in from her car and you said, "Why can't we have a normal mom?" Do you remember what Souris said? Yes, that's right; she said, "If we did, we wouldn't have you."
Souris clearly has inferiority issues to me.

Souris' claim.

-----Original Message-----
From: Souris
Sent: Monday, July 31, 2000 8:20 PM
Subject: Re: Why I Am the Most Normal Hong Kid

i am more normal than all of you b/c i was able to find a partner who found me to be normal (stable) enough to want to stick around for awhile. the rest of you weirdos in singlehood are just downright odd. who's your daddy? come on, what's more normal? telling you that this is my half of the snow covered yard? or actually listening to my commands? sheesh. now go over THERE and play....MUH HA HA HA HA HA HA!

side notes:
i can't ever win at who wants to be a millionaire b/c my friend james works for the show and he said our friendship would squash any chance i had w/ the show to start with (no friends of employees can be contestants). besides, i dont' know all the monopoly pieces and their proper names and that's all you ever need to know to move on to the $500K mark...
showing dogs is for people who no matter how many circles/rings they've run with their animals at shows, are still big fat white ladies in bad secretarial type outfits.
hani is not normal for riding that bike all over nowhere. but she has the kindest heart. that's not a bad thing.
kaly's naming (and talking too - i've seen her do it) her umbrella is downright mental. that thing can't even talk back!
lobo's BOOMING stereo has fine tuned his ear for his new career in music. be careful who you are nice too, as it's a sure bet, bo will be a millionaire in no time.
normal people DO NOT pay mind to etiquette and shit like that. they just live life and learn from their experiences. polite or not.

comment to kaly's comment: pay an Yves St Laurent budget for clothes that look like Salvation Army from a really bad 70's period (like Souris)
it's not possible that i pay YSL prices for budget clothes as of course, all my clothes are pretty much given to me from all our advertisers. and 70s? damn, sam, you need to step back and reevaluate. i'm street chic! not ghetto 70s. gross! i am a HUSTLER OF CULTURE. i can't help it if i live and breathe the part 24/7! if it weren't for me to translate society today to you chumps, you'd be loss loss loss! and ABNORMAL!

>>"Why can't we have a normal mom?" Do you remember what Souris said? Yes, that's right; she said, "If we did, we wouldn't have you."
>Souris clearly has inferiority issues to me
we still LAUGH about that to this day. who said carrying gio lua was an easy task? it made me a better person that's for sure. kaly, see, everyone laughed b/c they could see the truth in the statement. you remember b/c you acknowledge that it was partly true.
[...]
souris

Relax

-----Original Message-----

From: Souris
Sent: Monday, July 31, 2000 8:22 PM
Subject: Re: Why I Am the Most Normal Hong Kid
>No, no, it doesn't work to present your case to biased observers. I am therefore adding Mike and Lori to this list >as impartial judges. Yeah...right.
>I myself would never make such claim to normalcy among the Hongs because quite frankly, the sample size is a >wee bit small and since we are all a wee bit deranged, it does not mean too much to say that you are less loony >than the acknowledged crowd of loonies. I therefore take myself out of the running for "most normal Hong," but >would like to respectfully continue to rebut any and all comers to this title

is it normal to talk this way? WHO TALKS LIKE THIS? kiki, you need
to get down with your bad self and relax a little.
souris

-----Original Message-----
From: Kiki
Sent: Tuesday, August 01, 2000 8:29 AM
Subject: RE: Why I Am the Most Normal Hong Kid

>society today to you chumps, you'd be loss loss loss! and ABNORMAL!
I think you meant lost lost LOST!
I agree, most normal people do not speak/write/think like me. This is why I won't lay claim to the title. I am laughing my ass off at work reading your rebuttal.

Now my sides hurt and my boss is gonna come and peer over my cube like I'm a sick woman. BTW -- I do not show dogs. I don't own show dogs; I have pets. They're my babies. Moo Cow says hello to you all.

Hani's Analysis [complete with subliminal thoughts]

-----Original Message-----
From: Hani
Sent: Tuesday, August 01, 2000 7:35 PM
Subject: i know you've been waiting for this

I know you've been waiting on the edge of your seats, and I now have found the time to indite my response to you. Let's start with why you are all far out of The League of Normalcy. A few things first. Kiki's dogs are not show dogs 'cause she fixed 'em. Otherwise, they would be. And for you, Souris, a marriage certificate is not transferable for membership into Normalcy.

Kiki - We all agree Kiki is a "weirdo" with these manic phone calls, odd denials of tissue-littering, and pathological lies, along with the romantic dramatization of your life, and the psychoanalysis of every little thing you experience (I'm the one with the degree in Psychology). subliminal note [You all think Hani is the most normal Hong child.] And just a few weeks ago, YOU called ME at 11:30 at night and demanded that I respond to your "WHO is this?" inquiry. WHAT are you calling ME for if you don't know who I am?

Kelly - That you talk to an umbrella (though it's a hackneyed point at this stage) and named it anything at all, even if it IS after The Great Charlotte, is unacceptable social behavior (I also took a college course in Social Psychology). I'm surprised no one else has mentioned your Mormon days - and all that garb you have to keep under your bed because you don't know what to do with it! [hani is normal hani is normal hani is normal hani is normal] To all of this, I have to add that at 29, you appear content to live your life in complete senescence. THIS IS NOT NORMAL. YOU ARE IN YOUR TWENTIES. LIKE IT.

Souris. Well. Where to begin. As the middle child, you are the WEIRDEST of us ALL (I also studied Child Psychology). When I was in ninth grade, you made me rearrange my school schedule because we had five of the same seven classes. Don't you remember? Who DOES things like that? [we love hani we love hani we love hani] THEN, you cozen flight attendants into giving you first class upgrades by lying to them about losing your wallet and that if they upgraded you, "it would really make your day." NOT TO MENTION LIES ABOUT HAVING TURRETT'S (sp.) SYNDROME so you could fly from Boston to NATIONAL instead of DULLES and save hundreds of dollars while you're at it.

Lobo is easy. He speaks Ebonics and writes English.

Me, I am the most normal Hong.
If you put us in a line-up in front of kids under 7 years old - who we all know are the most honest critics because they've not yet learned the biases of their parents or the subtleties of polite lies - they would unanimously choose to play with me. I drink coffee in the morning. I didn't join a sorority or fraternity. I can listen to Bob Marley and Beethoven and not be confused about who I am. I'm adaptable. I remind people of birthdays and anniversaries. I remember my home phone number. I don't always shave my legs. I certainly don't want to be on a TV show even to win a million dollars. AND THE BIKING THING IS ONLY A PHASE.
Did I also mention that I took ABNORMAL PSYCHOLOGY?
I am the most qualified to know that each of you is not normal.
I love you despite your idiosyncrasies
la petite Hani

Silvio's Vote

-----Original Message-----
From: Silvio
Sent: Tuesday, August 01, 2000 9:06 PM
Subject: Re: i know you've been waiting for this

Lobo...
He's the most normal.
He is a guy so already that makes him more normal than his four sisters. Also he's the only one who didn't say anything about this matter.
You should actually argue about which one of you is the most crazy person.
I'm having a hard time making up my mind on that one
:)

Hi to everyone

Milve

-----Original Message-----
From: Kiki
Sent: Wednesday, August 02, 2000 8:46 AM
Subject: RE: i know you've been waiting for this

Oh my God! He SPEAKS!

-----Original Message-----
From: Kelly
Sent: Wednesday, August 02, 2000 9:20 AM
Subject: Re: i know you've been waiting for this

You're wondering who the most crazy person is? Uh,
DUH! You're married to her.

>Lobo...
>He's the most normal.
>He is a guy so already that makes him more normal
than his four sisters. Also he's the >only one who
didn't say anything about this matter.
>You should actually argue about which one of you is
the most crazy person.
>I'm having a hard time making up my mind on that one
:)

Kiki Wraps Up and Silvio Answers

-----Original Message-----
From: Kiki
Sent: Wednesday, August 02, 2000 9:01 AM
Subject: too funny.
My stomach hurts from laughing so hard. This is better than ab crunches any day of the week. Of course, I'm now sorry I threw Mike and Lori into the mix 'cuz they are clearly wondering whether or not they want to claim us for relatives any longer. But I must reiterate that I lay no claim to any title in which the word "normal" appears. I haven't the means nor the grounds to assert such a claim.

And Souris, see, I'm not the only one who uses vocabulary words and grammatically correct sentence structure. Without doubt Hani's command of the written word far outstrips mine. All I know are words like apostasy and apocryphal, which are probably better suited for Kelly than me, but you know, I can even spell them. The Tourette's story is primo. You now win hands down as the person most likely to take over Tom Green's job.

Unless Lobo wants to make himself heard, can I suggest we end by agreeing that none of us are normal because if we were, we wouldnt' be having this discussion at all? It's getting embarrassing laughing hysterically every morning before anyone in the office has had coffee yet....

-----Original Message-----
From: Silvio
Sent: Wednesday, August 02, 2000 1:40 PM
Subject: Re: i know you've been waiting for this

Ah good. I wasn't sure.
Now I know I've made the best choice.

At 09:20 AM 08/02/2000 -0400, Kelly wrote:
You're wondering who the most crazy person is? Uh,
DUH! You're married to her.

Lobo Ends it.

-----Original Message-----
From: Lobo
Sent: Wednesday, August 02, 2000 4:39 PM
Subject: Re: You don't have to be normal, as long as you're happy!

It's not important to be normal. It's important to be happy. If you all were normal then none of you would have the good careers that you have today. To me, being "normal" is similar to being average. You all work in above average companies in above average major cities. It does not matter what your salary is because not many people we know get to do the things that we get to do or have done. Do you guys think that we would even know half of the people we know or have half of the choices we have if we were normal? We all have taken our lives to a higher extreme in order to get where and what we want. Being an extremist is being a leader. Being normal is being a follower. We're all leaders and that's cool. Class over, to be continued.

The End.

-----Original Message-----

From: Hani
Sent: Wednesday, August 02, 2000 6:04 PM
Subject: lobo
i think lobo should become a diplomat.
forget music.
we could call him His Excellency Lobo. Nice ring to it. better than his wanting to be called James Maximillian Hong after watching Mad Max in the 80's.
and he would have to communicate only in writing. we'd have to pretend he was mute so he doesn't scare the foreigners.
impressive answer, bo.
love to all,
hani